"YOU HAVE REACHED" by Ron Dowle

How many times have we heard that same old announcement churned out by almost every answering machine; "you have reached 123 4567. Sorry we can't take your call right now but if you leave your name and number we'll get back to you as soon as possible." Is this the best we can do? Don't we have personalities bursting to be expressed? Some of us do try to make things a little more personal by adding in our names; "Jack or Jill will get back to you". It certainly sounds more friendly but Block Watch advise against this practice, why give away even the smallest snippet of information to a scam artist making a random call? Some super helpful people even add "we're away until the 14th"—issuing an open invitation for a break-in.

But there are some interesting announcements out there. Dialling a wrong number once got me an egoistical, sexy, male voice (don't get me wrong!) drawling, "A Sorry you missed me. Don't take it too hard"

A lady named Hope is even briefer; she announces, in a sepulchral voice, "There is no Hope!" then in a brighter tone, "But Hope will return"

Another ends hers "and if it's Sears, the cheque is in the mail!" High marks for brevity go to. "123 4567. After the tone you know what to do". One of the funniest was when a woman mimicked Her Majesty and said "please do leave a message, Phillip and I are walking the dogs."

Top marks, however, go to little ditty, sung to a simple jingle that sounds suspiciously like that familiar nursery rhyme Baa, baa, black sheep.

I'm a little telephone sitting on a shelf.
Feeling very lonely, all by myself.
If you leave a message after the tone
Jack or Jill will be sure to phone.

If you can add to this small collection drop a line to me at the Association's office or e-mail me at rondowle@telus.net.